They weren't perfect

My task for Tuesday was to bake Snickerdoodles for the students at the YWAM base. Baking is a challenge here in Belize because of the heat and humidity. I didn't realize there was hard margarine in the fridge because it had been taken out of its box, so I reluctantly used the spreadable tub margarine. I mixed up the double batch of cookies only to find the dough was very soft and not at all conducive to rolling into balls to put on the cookie sheets. Without really pondering the problem, I added two more cups of flour. Bad idea! After this, my helper, Laney, and I decided that putting the dough into the fridge to chill would be a good idea. We waited about half an hour to attempt to roll little balls. That worked well. The cookies took forever to bake, though, and it was difficult to wedge the large trays into the ancient gas oven even though Terry had banged on them to make them fit.

The cook in the kitchen sampled them, and said, “They need more margarine and sugar.” I put in half the amount he suggested, and did not add more sugar. He didn't think the end product was very good even after this.

The rejects

Laney and I decided it didn't matter, that the students would appreciate them anyway.

When I expressed my frustration to a wise staff member, she said, “Give me the cookies.” I soundly slapped her hand in a kind of halfhearted 'high five'. That was a symbolic gesture to release their imperfections and not take on false guilt over my lack in baking them perfectly.

 I still felt glum over this situation most of the afternoon, until I had my daily swim in the pool. I love the water; it has a calming effect on me. I swam back and forth not really thinking about anything. Finally, reaching the edge of the pool I gave up. OK, God, I know you still love me even though I make mistakes. Thank you for that.   Instant peace.

I've struggled over perfectionism all my life, only recently realizing that I don't have to try to please God and others with what I can achieve. He loves me in spite of myself. That's why Jesus died for me. I don't have to strive for approval, He loves me anyway, always. It's a lesson I have to be reminded of over and over.

By the way, as the students ran past from the dining area they called out, "Thanks for the cookies!"